Smooth

The prints have eroded. Valleys once so telling

broken, worn to anonymity.

Gloves have more soul than they do

and can still be hurt by the constant wash of disinfectant

and bleach, the routine so well rehearsed

that the very ground has become a giant record,

one that needs no needle to sound its ghosts.

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Untitled

Untitled, I am simply me

to walk around and sketch the day

as I please. Or that’s what you might expect

if you spy me from a distance,

the woman who can take her time doing this and that,

including moulding time itself into whatever shape she likes.

Underneath the glass, however,

I have a structure that demands I do something deemed as an achievement

each day, and my body won’t let me rest

nor will my mind,

and in those rare times when I beat it back

guilt wraps its fingers around my heart and squeezes

until the enjoyment of whatever I’m doing for fun

turns dull and grey, as ash in my mouth.

Waterfalls

The pick strikes the ice and shatters the fragments

out into the air. Down they go, hearty lumps,

past my feet as I cling to the side.

 

I stretch up, pick ready, and strike again.

My chest hurts – I’m too eager, I know.

Fragments fly.

 

A routine: pick strike, ice diamonds

pick strike, ice diamonds.

Just frozen water playing rain.

 

So why am I bleeding?

Upside down

I’m walking down the path and its a Möbius strip

I can’t escape.

I turn, run back

to end up exactly where I was.

The only release is with my voice

but then they’ll look.

If they look, they’ll have won

because they’ve seen I can no longer hide.

New Habits

They form over months, subtle and sneaky,

habits we’ve picked up by merging so sweetly.

 

Checking ingredients without a second thought,

carrying a full deck of cards just in case they’re sought.

 

Clothes cleaned and ironed for an overnight stay,

fried eggs swapped for part of the other’s breakfast: a good start to the day.

 

One bathing, one readying the bed,

one solving puzzles, one having just read.

 

Phone calls and messages each day we’re apart,

‘I love you’ said often but not so much that it loses its spark.

Overture

Evening draws in,

the half-moon observes

your passage home.

Hours drip by heavy,

oil falling in water.

Unmixed, always a separate entity

to those wandering past.

Cigarette butts on the ground

avoiding the traps especially set

on waste bins.

The smell of energy drinks

left on the bus two seats down

marring the truest scent

of night.

Door unlocked, house is silent.

Signs of life everywhere

that need to be tidied before morning.

Before mourning.

Of what might have been.

Not of what is.

The aftertaste of what is

is natural,

no added sugar.

Orienteering

Can we find our way

without following the carefully plotted routes of other people’s maps?

If our compass doesn’t point North,

but to somewhere else entirely?

 

If we take each step

hand in hand,

ignoring the suggestions fed to us from all sides

and being ourselves,

then our path may be as solid or fluid

as we like.

 

We won’t always have a destination.

But we’ll always have the journey.

To-do List

The postman arrives

with the to-do list of doom

holding it out like the poison it is,

dripping its case for me to assess

as I take it from his trembling hands.

Dust off those forgotten tomes.

Arrange by publication date,

then colour. Colour that milk

with stronger tea. Write emails.

Phone doctors. Book appointments with clients.

Phone your mother.

Oh no.

Phone your mother.

I knew this was coming.

Phone your mother.

No.

Phone. Your. Mother.

No, please!

Fine. But you know I’ll be back tomorrow.

The Unknown

They polished the scaled armour with orange peel every evening. The citrus scent repelling the taste of blood and earth residing in each crease. The overlapping plates fish-like, never one colour for more than a moment. Inside, the body was still human. Just. It preferred oranges to iron, whatever its brain might say.

Pin-cushion

Do they know about the secrets kept sewn into your pockets? You brush shoulders with them everyday, spilling reflections from your shoes. People have always been bad at spotting fake images. You don’t want to close the circle, but the ice is drawing in fast.