After a meeting

My bones are rock, the act of talking

leeching the energy from my mind

even though I know I look completely comfortable.

I get home, in my own space;

that’s when it comes out. Materialises.

The heaviness. The weight.

I deaden, yet laugh maniacally

as it rains from my body.

I’m tired.

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My body misbehaves when I’m tired

My feet dribble into the porous floor

another piece wandering off

without my permission

 

Hands fling keys across the room

as the fingers crumple inwards

in submission

 

Head bowed and mind travelling

over the waterfall again

again again again

 

When will I wake?

Cheer up, love

A sunflower head is placed over her mouth

Happiness and sunshine in a perfect little sparkling world

The petals fade, the seeds drop off one by one

but all they see still is what the flower was

The weary dried face

once so full of promise and vitality

now a mask for what she knows they want

End of day

Evening comes – no, midnight –

and the cogs are finally coloured to a shine,

placed inside the casing of my heart

as the rest of my body, weary

from the day’s high, erratic strings

winds down into standby mode.

 

Tick, whirr, beat.

Tick. Whirr. Beat.

Tick… whirr… beat…

Ramble Tangle

My eyes are tired,

it’s been far too long,

examining words

I’d long thought were gone.

 

The night draws up,

a blanket to my chin,

yet the letters reel on,

I cannot give in.

 

Searching and searching,

I sew back my soul,

catching those secrets

I’d left to grow cold.

 

Time makes it clear,

the rivers flow by,

I’ll take my chance now,

speaking no lie.

 

Discombobulate

The fog looms behind my eyes threatening

to seep out if I widen them enough.

Yet my eyes aren’t wide at all, they’re half

closed, eyelids sinking low despite the overwhelming

rushes of air, clinking of keys, feet shuffling

a little too close and perfume forcing its way up my nostrils.

I can feel my body one moment, and in the next

it’s lost, disconnected and I’m a floating head.

A floating head with a parroting voice, a mimic,

a copycat of everything, even emotions.

Not that I don’t feel my own. Mine just won’t display.